Letter to Triathlete Magazine

Dear Triathlete Magazine,

I am writing to suggest a follow-on article for next month's edition.  You see, like many who read your publication, I do not come from a swimming background, and I am thus anxious to put to use any tips that your experts are willing to share when it comes to the pool.  I most recently came across your "3 Perfect Pre-Pool Warmups" article in the May 2011 Issue.

Excited to put my new authentic pre-swim moves to work, I arrived at the local pool immediately after work, just as the children's swimming and water aerobics classes were commencing.  I made my way out on the pool deck, donned in my day-glow speedo and pink swim cap and put your moves to the test.  I will say that the deep lunges and shoulder stretches did loosen me up a bit, but I was unable to complete the circuit.  You see, just as I was beginning the deep squat portion of the warm up, I became aware of the angry cries of the parents seated in the bleachers and the old women whose water aerobics class had come to a stand-still.  As the gym security personnel escorted me back toward the locker room, I remember hearing the sound of children weeping and adults dry-heaving.
I tried to explain to the pool manager that I was in fact performing a very technical pre-swim warm up, but he refused to believe me, and canceled my membership due to what he termed "public indecency."
So, as I was saying, I would like to request an article on open water swimming - for those of us who now find ourselves unwelcome in our local pool.  I look forward to your continued guidance.

Austin