Friday, July 1, 2011

Junk in the Trunk?

I am a dude, and am thus free from most forms of self-consciousness.  I can go right from sleeping to work without even thinking about my hair, and am perfectly capable of walking by a reflective surface without taking a personal inventory.
However, recent events have made me question one aspect of my person - my ass.
Over the past week I have split the seams in not one but two garments.  One was a pair of jeans and the other was a flight suit.  I can understand an old pair of jeans getting catch on something and getting a little tear, but a flight suit? Really?  A huge, baggy adult one-sy - and my ass is too big for its tensile strength?

I have known for a while that I have a bit more back there than the typical white guy booty, thanks to years of sprinting and squats, but I thought a week of Ironman training would be creating a more minimalist Austin - not splitting seams.
For now, I'll fight the urge to panic and start the South Beach Diet.  I guess I'll just get some new jeans.


  1. Make those glutes work for their rent! Just means that bike split should be slimming down.

  2. Its not you, its the pants. They use to make pants with gussets in the crotch/ass area to prevent just what you're talking about. If you want some kick ass pants (literally) check out Duluth for some old school pants that are made for IronMen.

  3. Great - so you're telling me when I start my Ironman training I'm going to get 'THE EXPANDING ASS SYNDROME" - Crap!!! lol. I guess it's time to be proactive and plan accordingly!


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